What It is:
The term “highly sensitive person” or HSP is a term that has been used to describe various experiences of individuals who describe overload when navigating the “average” social, emotional, and sensory experience of modern life. Some theorists believe that this experience is related to personality and others to neurotype (and neurodivergence). Though theorists do not agree on what defines this group of folks, the term most often includes individuals who experience a level of increased sensitivity to sensory stimuli (e.g., lights, sounds), emotional stimuli (e.g., sadness), and/or social stimuli (e.g., interpersonal situations). Experiencing a higher sensitivity to different experiences can begin during childhood, and many parents struggle to know how best to support a “highly sensitive child."
As a result of these sensitivities, highly sensitive children need to navigate modern life by finding skills to manage overstimulation, increasing refueling activities, and finding routines and habits that work for them. Additionally, parents of highly sensitive children will need to know how to support their child and create an environment where they are able to thrive. When highly sensitive children aren’t able to find skills to adapt and navigate modern life, they are more likely to develop physical and mental health symptoms. A “highly sensitive child” is not a diagnosis and it is not something to change about a child or youth. In fact, there are many benefits to being a highly sensitive child! However, these kids and teens may develop various mental health concerns when there is a significant mismatch between the demands of modern life and the coping skills they have to navigate them.
Do any of these things sound familiar?
- My child seems to be more affected by the emotional content of tv, movies, or the news than their peers
- My child seems to be overwhelmed by day-to-day life more easily than their peers or family members
- My child’s “social battery” seems to be lower or more easily drained than others
- My child is often told they are “too sensitive” or “take things too personally”
- When my child’s senses are overwhelmed (by sights, sounds, or smells), they struggle to cope and manage their emotions
- My child seems to be more impacted by other people’s moods or emotions than their peers
- It seems to take my child longer to recover from emotions or stressors than those around them
- My child craves routines that help them manage overwhelm or burn-out
- My child seems to experience physical pain or physical discomfort as more intense or prolonged than those around them
- My child seems to be more overwhelmed than their peers by time pressure (e.g., deadlines), changing plans, or very long to-do lists
Emotions:
A highly sensitive child experiences emotions (both positive and negative) as more intense or activating than the average kid or adolescent. They often report being more impacted by emotional information they watch, hear, or experience themselves. They report feeling other people’s emotions very deeply and may use terms like “empath” to describe this. While there are plenty of benefits to being this in-tune with others and their own emotions, it can also be overwhelming. Highly sensitive children that have not learned effective coping strategies report emotional overwhelm (often panic or shut down), emotional burn-out, or difficulties calming down or relaxing. Some folks report an inability to disengage from their own or others’ emotions, which leads them to feel out of control of their own emotional experience. Others report an inability to engage with their or others’ emotions without significant control strategies designed to help them feel more capable (e.g., only able to interact socially under perfect conditions).
Thoughts or Beliefs:
Because highly sensitive children feel things so deeply, they can also have difficulty detaching from emotion-related thoughts and develop unhelpful emotion-related beliefs. These can vary widely, but often relate to their beliefs around their responsibility for others’ emotions, their own ability to tolerate their or others’ emotions (e.g., hopelessness or helplessness), or how they can interact with the world (e.g., developing rigid habits or rituals).
Behaviors or Habits:
Highly sensitive children develop various behaviors or habits to navigate their emotional and sensory sensitivities; some may be very effective and others less so. Some common strategies that work in the short-term (e.g., refusing to talk about their emotions or asking others to calm their emotions) tend to eventually cause problems in the long term (e.g., loneliness or social conflict). Strategies that involve numbing the sensitivities (e.g., gaming, addiction to technology, use of substances) or risky behaviors to distract from the sensitivities (e.g., self-harm, illegal behavior, taking risks with their physical or sexual safety) also tend to become problematic over time.
Associated Concerns of Highly Sensitive Children:
Low Mood or Depression: Without the development of coping skills, most highly sensitive children will experience mood changes, including depression or irritability. Because the modern social, physical, and emotional world is not designed for them, it can be very taxing to navigate it without learning strategies that work for them in the short and long term.
Anxiety or Panic: Because highly sensitive children are more sensitive to overwhelm, they are very vulnerable to developing anxiety and panic. It is not uncommon for highly sensitive kids and teens who have not found helpful coping strategies to develop ruminative, obsessive, or catastrophic thinking patterns. This can lead to anxiety disorders, panic attacks, or even OCD.
Mood Swings or Dysregulation: Some highly sensitive children develop coping strategies to manage their sensitivity that involve impulsive behaviors, interpersonal conflict, and difficulty interacting with those that do not understand or allow their sensitivities. For some, this can result in what is called emotion dysregulation, or the difficulty managing emotional sensitivities without utilizing significant external support to calm themselves, communicate with others, or navigate day-to-day life.
Emotional Avoidance: Some highly sensitive children develop coping strategies to manage their sensitivity that deny they are emotionally sensitive, try to avoid or control things that cause sensitivity, or rely on extreme self-management strategies (e.g., perfectionism) to navigate their sensitivities. For some, this can result in what is called emotional avoidance, or the difficulty managing emotional sensitivities without using unhelpful internal coping mechanism to calm themselves, communicate with others, or navigate day-to-day life.
*Of note, many individuals who identify as a highly sensitive child may also identify as or have been given diagnoses of autism, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, OCD, or GAD. There is high overlap between highly sensitive children and these neurotypes or experiences; however, being a highly sensitive child does not mean you would meet criteria for any of these other conditions or neurotypes. An assessment can be an important way to differentiate between these experiences for those that are unsure, have received many diagnoses related to their sensitivities, or have a desire to deeply understand their individual brain or experiences.
Specialty Services at TAP:
Navigating high sensitivity effectively means learning skills to decrease overwhelm, to navigate emotions and interpersonal relationships, and to soothe and restore the nervous system.
Below are a list of empirically supported assessments or therapies that one or more of our specialists could provide. Click on an intervention to learn more!
Click to learn more about individual services in this area
Some children may not be open to individual therapy, in which case parenting interventions can be very effective.